Is your child having difficulty making and keeping friends. You may feel frustrated and this probably hurts your heart. You have watched and nurtured their progress and in spite of all the efforts, you see your kid falling further behind their age-peers in socialization. You would like them to feel how wonderful it is to belong, the excitement and anticipation that can result from successful relationships. You don’t want to see them lonely, withdrawn, isolated.
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You can have them participate in a six-week social skills group where the main objective is to provide an experience of feeling successful having fun with kids their own age. They won’t learn all the skills they need, but with any luck at all, they will get buy-in, they will get conditioned to the idea of why should I try modifying my behavior to keep others having good thoughts about me, when I could be by myself in my video game not having to deal with failure and rejection.
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Feeling a sense of belonging is so important for your child. If they were going to learn through osmosis from being with the other kids, then they wouldn’t be having these problems. What they need is explicit instruction and coaching of the hidden rules they don’t get, and you need a vocabulary you both understand to talk about social skills.
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You can get a jump-start on what may be a decade-long journey to help your child understand and accept themselves while still being able to engage in the behaviors they need to get what they want from others. When your child feels more confident in their abilty to be liked and accepted by others, and they like and accept themselves, they can still commit social errors without running away and even endear themselves to others
for their funny quirks.
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