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If you think you or your child may be combatting the symptoms of ADHD, have a professional assessment done with a written report and recommendations. Cost as of 8/6/2009 is $350.00.

Solution Focus

One of the things people in my business need to help clients watch out for is becoming too problem-focused. Once you get started, it can be hard to stop! We solve one problem, then we hunt for more, and naturally, if we look hard enough, we can always find them. I can’t tell you how many times I have listened to someone tell me “He can’t sit still,” or, “He doesn’t follow directions.” That’s when I glance at the kid and say “Wow, how’d you get him here?”
We can also always find successes and solutions.

Is the glass half empty or half full? When we are working with children who are not being as successful as we would like them to be, it becomes critical that we monitor ourselves so we aren’t too critical! These children need our faith, support, confidence, and messages assuring that they can, they are, and they will.

The same can be said for working with couples. You go in to the counselor to talk about problems, right? We have to be careful not to influence people to establish or maintain a negative and inaccurate or distorted viewpoint about a person, a behavior, or a relationship. We need hope and faith to create a positive space for the person or the relationship to grow into.

We want to be solution focused because this helps us notice when the problem does not occur. We begin to realize we in fact have the means to cope with difficulties in acceptable ways. We can also think about those good moments and try to figure out what we did that created our magical formula for success.

Solution Focus

One of the things people in my business need to help clients watch out for is becoming too problem-focused. Once you get started, it can be hard to stop! We solve one problem, then we hunt for more, and naturally, if we look hard enough, we can always find them. I can’t tell you how many times I have listened to someone tell me “He can’t sit still,” or, “He doesn’t follow directions.” That’s when I glance at the kid and say “Wow, how’d you get him here?”
We can also always find successes and solutions.

Is the glass half empty or half full? When we are working with children who are not being as successful as we would like them to be, it becomes critical that we monitor ourselves so we aren’t too critical! These children need our faith, support, confidence, and messages assuring that they can, they are, and they will.

The same can be said for working with couples. You go in to the counselor to talk about problems, right? We have to be careful not to influence people to establish or maintain a negative and inaccurate or distorted viewpoint about a person, a behavior, or a relationship. We need hope and faith to create a positive space for the person or the relationship to grow into.

We want to be solution focused because this helps us notice when the problem does not occur. We begin to realize we in fact have the means to cope with difficulties in acceptable ways. We can also think about those good moments and try to figure out what we did that created our magical formula for success.

What is the most important thing to know when working with ADHD? Self-esteem is the critical key to helping a person with ADHD symtoms overcome obstacles. It is my belief that the damage caused to the self-image of a child with ADHD is directly related to the development of oppositional-defiant behavior and many of the "meltdowns" and anger we may see when such a child is corrected.

How does this happen? Put yourself in the child's position. What do they hear about themselves? Steven, get back in your seat. Steven, keep your hands to yourself. Steven, where's your homework? Steven, what are you doing? Steven, are you listening? Look at me, Steven. Steven, what are you doing with that paper clip? Steven, why can't you sit still, why don't you follow directions, why don't you stay on task? The message is, over and over, "You're not doing it right, you don't sit still, you don't follow directions, keep your hands to yourself, stay on task," etc. Our thoughts and words about our children are so powerful that we can make them in our image, they make themselves in their image of themselves.

The good news is, we can right the wrong by changing the way we interact with such a child. The most important element in intervening and using behavioral management strategies is to "reprogram" our words, what we put our energy into, and the child's self image. We do this by putting more energy into when the rules are not being broken. We make the good times bigger and longer. If we wait until there is a problem and intercede then, we are telling the child what is wrong with them. We need to learn how to tell them what is right with them. When the child believes that he or she can and is and will, the desired behaviors and effort are much more likely to occur.

I have seen the strategies I teach accomplish just this over short periods of time. The child appears transformed. I am so thankful to have a way to work that allows me to see these small miracles every week. I should know, I was that child once.